I made it to work today. Just being able to do that was good. But whatever I do wears me out; nothing seems to come easily anymore.
Now tomorrow I have to track down doctors or pharmacists, maybe both. And don’t forget Social Security: the clock doesn’t stop ticking. I can feel the ratcheting.
It is good to see everyone at work, and they are amazingly nice, and very patient. But I’m still feeling inadequate. And strangely tired. This part of the job trajectory I’ve never had to go through before.
This is supposed to be a pRCC blog and I don’t have much to say about pRCC except to observe that it has diminished me, regardless of symptoms, regardless of cures.
This week I will start up with Sutent again. After 4 weeks, we will get a test, a ct scan, and then we will find out if this has all been worth it.
It’s a form of high-stakes gambling, except you don’t get the option to pass.
I'm thankful for all the prayers and positive energy and am mindful that things could easily be worse.
