Saturday, May 18, 2013
A better year than the last one?
This is my last week of Sutent before my two week break.
Though it is better than last time, I still look forward to the break. Sometime
during the second half of this treatment, I’ll find out who my next oncologist
is, and whether we will continue with Sutent.
Looking back over the year, which was devastating, frankly, I’m
amazed how well I am. Last Mother’s Day, my mother and younger sister
were out here; that’s when I got the diagnosis. At the time my main pain
was gout.
Actually, in my personal story book, I felt the first outburst of
the kidney cancer in February of 2012. It was extremely painful but as it
passed within 24 hours, I didn’t have it examined. If I had let them do
an x-ray then, they would have seen the tumors and the finding would not have
been inadvertent.
As it worked out, I got x-rayed for heart trouble in April, and one of the
tumors was seen, so the discovery is categorized as inadvertent. I
mention these things because I can’t help wondering at the way we use
statistics. Those who's findings are inadvertent are said to have a statistically better prospect.
My youngest brother came thru in July. We were still debating which treatment route
to take, so they saw me just in psychological shock mode.
My oldest brother was the next family member to see me, in
October. By then I was recovering from the operation and struggling to
get back to work. It didn’t work. I was too weak.
When my older sister came thru town in February, I was at my
nadir, deeply depressed and weakened by pneumonia, which had not yet been
diagnosed. So my older sister saw me at my worst.
And then we stopped the temsirolimus. The further I get from
that the better I feel. That’s what I tell myself anyway, and that’s how
I account for the difference between the first dose of Sutent and the second.
So there is the possibility that the next year, year two, will be
better than year one.
Is there not a strong impetus to make up our own stories?
Who knows, maybe there is a better story than the one I mull
over. And over.
Thallervale at gmail
5/18/2013 11:35:09 PM
