The second round of Sutent is better than the first. From my phenomenal point of view it bothers
the GI tract and the skin foremost; from the doc’s point of view it is a danger
to the heart and liver. But we’re not so
worried this time. It might work and I
might be able to live with the side-effects.
I manage to get to work and back today and it was good to
see my co-workers even though we can see my eventual retirement coming. It’s a strange time that one doesn’t get to
rehearse or repeat.
There’s a curious reaction I want to mention, I have no name
for it right now. I’ve listened and read
enough to know that for many people cancer becomes a battle, a crusade, a fight
of good against evil. I don’t know why
but I don’t have that feeling. It’s not
that I wouldn’t love it if the Sutent worked.
And cancer does rather take over one’s consciousness. But not entirely. There are plenty of times when I feel that
the big C is just another piece of the context, just another of the many things
beyond my control which I have to deal with.
And then I think: what else is anyone else doing, but dealing the best
they can with what they are given.
